Talking Pints Christmas Special: Drunk Shopping, Christmas Parties and other Festive Nonsense

The turkey’s in the oven, the presents are all bought and wrapped up, and you’re all ready for the best Christmas ever. Or maybe not. Anyway, it’s too late to worry about any of that now – time to start making the best of Christmas in a land where budget restaurants have plastic wall hangings of Santa’s face and “Merry Christmas” signs up all year round.

To the Christmas events in a moment, but firstly, some last-ditch Christmas shopping tips. Dawn is breaking on Christmas morning, and Beijing is peaceful, with nary a soul on the street. You realise this is probably the closest Christmas Day in Beijing will get to feeling like Christmas at home, and your heart briefly warms. Then you remember you've just stumbled out of a bar, it's 5am and you've still not bought any Christmas presents. What are you going to do? It depends on the quality of 24-hour stores around, but based on the stock at 7-11, here are our Top 5 gifts to help you try to not ruin Christmas for everyone:

1. Travel UNO
2. Bottle of "Scottish Collie" whiskey ("Made in France," according to the label)
3. Ghana chocolate bar
4. Can of heated coffee
5. 7-11 Christmas cake

Now if you can just find some wrapping paper, you might just salvage this .... er, yeah. Anyway, here’s what’s going on for Christmas Eve:

The White Rabbit team take over Yuanfen New Media Art Space in 798 for the 33 45 White XXX-mas Party, an all-night session featuring DJs Yang Bing, Zhi Qi, Donald Summer and Jiong Jiong. You’ll get home just in time to finish wrapping your presents. See our interview with White Rabbit’s Thomas Gaestadius here. RMB 100. 10pm-5am.

Similar action down at The House, which only opened on December 3, but seems to have had no trouble establishing itself as one of the city’s key venues for techno, house and late-night dancing. Their “Tech the Halls” party starts around 10pm and entry is free until 11pm, with Acupuncture DJs playing till Santa has done his rounds. The party continues on the night of December 25 in much the same vein.

Less of a Christmas theme at Punk, but Defected Records-signed duo Round Table Knights deserve a look if you're into house. Entry is free until 11pm and RMB 50 thereafter.

Q Bar has a charity-themed Christmas party. Bring items to donate to charity and you’ll get a free holiday drink. See www.qbarbeijing.com for suggestions on what to donate. Free entry and the party starts at 9pm.

Over to Chaoyang Park, and Juicy and Suzie Wong’s both have Christmas Eve parties. Juicy has RMB 5 Kamikazes, while Suzie’s promises the usual glitz and beautiful people for your RMB 200 entry fee. Juicy carries the fun on to Christmas Day with an open bar party – men get in for RMB 120, while women get in for RMB 60, and all drinks are free from 9pm-3am.

The recently reopened Bar Blu turns red for its Christmas Eve party. Entry is free and there are drinks specials all night.

DJs Bobby and A-LeXX get Yan Club into the festive mood with a black and gold-themed party. Head down there and for your RMB 150 entrance fee you’ll get a free glass of champagne. Or, go down decked out in black and gold and get in for nothing. The party starts at 8pm.

Meanwhile, if you’re looking for something to keep you occupied tonight (December 23), Bar Blu reopens its upper floor to coincide with the launch of its new Thursday “El Amour Sentimiento” ladies’ night. The upper floor is ladies-only until 10pm, and girls in groups of 4 who arrive from 8-10pm will be rewarded with a free bottle of bubbly. The ladies can enjoy free mojitos from a selection of ten new flavors for the rest of the night. The Latino dance tunes are free for everyone, so console yourself with that, chaps.

Whatever you do, have a good Christmas. And if you don’t celebrate it at all, have a good weekend.