The Lighter Side of China: Food of Peace
I attended a Chinese banquet this past week. As with most banquets in China, I was offered many things to drink. This was a dinner marking the finalization of a long-standing contract and red wine was the spirit of choice for the toast. (Because everyone would be working later, celebrating with Maotai was voted against.) The wine selected was, I believe, a traditional Dragon Seal, a favorite local brand, and most people were happy with this. I had a lot of work to do in the evening so I sipped through the toasts, but did try the blueberry juice that was making its rounds on the lazy susan. This was the first time I tasted blueberry juice and it was quite nice, complete with a few berries at the bottom of the bottle.
I was also offered an Apple Vinegar drink, which I took a pass on. I certainly did not want to drink vinegar – nor was I captivated by the carefully crafted English slogan on the label: “The Original Taste and Flavor Leave the Remote Mountain.” Few people picked the Apple Vinegar, and I figured that perhaps there is some branding work for us with this company sometime in the future.
In my 18 years in mainland China I have been witness to – and part of – many debates on where the best food comes from. I caution those of you who want a peaceful meal to never, ever debate this topic with someone from France.
In my experience, the dinner or lunch table is where most deals get done in China. I suppose something happens to people when their stomachs begin to fill. Why more politically tense discussions don’t happen after a joint meal is shared is something I often wonder about. Think about it. With regard to the famous Six-Party Talks: Why not have a dinner first, and then discuss nuclear nonproliferation in North Korea?
Let’s tease this out for a moment. Imagine this: Obama, or whomever is in power when this meal takes place; sitting next to Hu or Xi, or whomever is in power when this takes place; with Kim Jung-un, who – if history is any guide – will be in power for the next umpteen years. All these leaders come with their wives. Kim Jung-un takes a seat in the middle with his new celebrity girlfriend, Hyon Song-wol. Putin is there too, along with the leaders of Japan and South Korea. Before meeting agendas are shared and tense discussions take place, the six leaders and their significant others break bread and fill their stomachs before intense discussions begin.
If you take a look at Kim Jung-un, this makes total sense. The boy certainly likes his food. And since Beijing is playing the mediation role, why not have this in China’s capital? If I were to create the menu, I know which dishes I’d select. I also have thoughts on what to avoid.
The first thing to consider is what to drink. Tea would be my preferred suggestion. A nice green or Pu’er tea would do just fine. Both help preserve long life and are politically safe. I would steer clear of Red Bull or any shots of B-52s. We wouldn’t want fireworks before the negotiations even start. And I bet you the young Kim Jung-un would enjoy a nice zhenzhu naicha. This is the milk tea with the tapioca pearls at the bottom – not exactly low-fat, but very tasty. I can imagine the smile on his face as he sucks the tapioca balls up the wide straw.
For the appetizers, I would forgo the chicken feet or the fungus. These are not favorites of the Western palate. The lotus root dipped in the strawberry jelly, however, could be universally accepted. The spicy chicken dipped in the hot oily sauce works too. Peanuts are always an easy offering as long as there is no one allergic to these, though it takes a lot to fill you up.
As dishes that make up the main course, I would suggest gongbao jiding, or diced chicken with peanuts. Peking duck, the signature dish of the host capital, would be a must. Some ganbian sijidou, green beans with minced pork, would be my vegetable of choice – it’s been a favorite among most visitors I have entertained in the past two decades. But I would advise the Chinese to skip the abalone or the sea slug. These dishes just won’t do it for many foreigners’ stomachs. I would order some pork ribs and sizzling beef to make sure the Americans were well taken care of. For the Korean delegates, I would make sure there is enough paocai, which has some relevance to kimchee.
To accompany all this, I would of course serve some rice, which is always a safe bet. The Chinese serve rice at the end of the banquet because it’s the cheapest but the most filling food. A host who serves rice at the beginning is assumed to not have enough money to satisfy everyone at the table with more expensive dishes. Nevertheless, as long as it was politically safe and the guests didn’t think I was skimping, I would prefer to make some rice available throughout the meal. The mixture of the entrees’ sauces in a bowl of rice tastes much nicer than the bland bowl of white rice at the end of a meal.
For dessert, I would stay with fruit. This is certainly safe. I personally favor the shaved ice deserts that Bellagio is famous for, but mixing in the Taiwanese deserts with an already touchy political discussion should be avoided. I may also include some fortune cookies, but the Americans may need to explain to the Chinese what these are all about.
The fortune cookie is said to have been created by a Chinese immigrant to the United States by the name of David Jung, who founded the Hong Kong Noodle Company in Los Angeles. Sometime around 1918, it has been reported, after seeing so many poor people in the streets of Los Angeles near his shop, Mr. Jung created these cookies and passed them out for free with each fortune penned by a local minister.
A fortune cookie with some sort of love message might work to finish off the meal. Something like, “Be kind to your neighbor – you never know what he has in his arsenal.” I would also make sure someone translates the fortune properly into the languages of those attending the talks. I can’t stop thinking about the Apple Vinegar slogan. You don’t want the delegates to be distracted as they embark upon their negotiations. The last thing you want is a fortune that reads like this: "He who leaves the mountain has no original taste and flavor."
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