Classified of the Week: A Match Made In Heaven

Every day the Beijinger gets a swarm of interesting, appropriate (and not-so-appropriate), and sometimes just downright weird classified ads from humble users like yourself. Classified of the Week is where we try to shed some light on ads we think are worthy of your attention.

Hey ladies,

Ever feel like there is something missing when you’re out with friends being frivolous with your money? Maybe you’re just not able to spend it quickly enough to satiate your need to become a dynamic member of the consumer class. Or maybe there are just not enough hours in the day for you to buy that new Ferrari F12berlinetta as well as the Lamborghini Veneno Roadster. Well, no need to despair, we’ve found the perfect solution!

Step in mysterious Jonathan. Jonathan has been so kind as to offer his services as a human monetary vortex and promises to dress up and behave if you throw him the right amount of red. Fittingly, his eyes are green.

In return, Jonathan will stand, sit and undoubtedly ask for more money or champagne when he’s feeling parched and unattended to at your best friend’s wedding at Opera Bombana. If that’s not enough, he’ll also be the “guy other people will be jealous about” because we all know deep down that after making a decent living the one thing missing is a complete stranger to throw it at.

Not convinced? Well, there may be hope for Jonathan yet! Enter Mr. Randy (Rendy?) who has stepped up to the plate, offering to help find his young Chinese lady friend a family-oriented German:

Hello Dude, I guess what we need to know is does she have enough money for Jonathan to consider marriage? Is this a match made in heaven? Watch here for potential updates and more matchmaking tips from the Beijinger.

Find many more interesting ads about employment, stuff-to-sell, services, dating, traveling and housing in our classifieds section. Can't find what you need? Post an ad yourself.

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