Classified of the Week: Seeking Giant Scorpions

We're inquisitive folk over here at the Beijinger, which is why we can't help but help when a guy comes around seeking giant scorpions.

First, let's take a look at that ad ...

OK, well, I guess we'll start with the user pic. If anyone was to be a scorpion herder it would be this guy. When he's not nude, foraging for poisonous beasts in the woods wearing a piece of bark as a sun hat he's getting professional photos taken, pondering the origins of skirting boards as inspiration for subtly tormented, yet, soft and complex faces. A closer look at Usama's profile reveals him to be a "SEXOLOGIST," which may or may not have something to do with this ad. You decide.

Now to the text. The seemingly nonchalant "Hi fellows" doesn't quite prepare you for what's coming, namely, the man's immediate need for 200g scorpions. So immediate in fact that it seems that he's willing to hand over his life savings and then some for these land lobsters. And don't worry if you're forgotten your handmade, gold-plated scorpion scales, Usama's got you covered.

So, what could someone possibly want with 200g scorpions? Sex games? Homemade boo-boo box? Protein-only diet regime? Leave your guesses below and, ya know, get in contact with Sam if you're packing.

Photo: Wikipedia