Totally Wired: Finding Your Buzz at Rager Pies

For almost a year, the pie fiends at Rager Pie have been slinging sweet and savory pastries and habit-inducing coffees, becoming a Gulou hotspot for jittery nourishment. Recently they added a line of coffee-based cocktails that are sure to set your mind afire. We all remember how popular Four Loko was a couple years ago for its insane combination of malt liquor and high caffeine content. Well, these concoctions render a similar effect, but won’t turn your tongue blue (I hate it when that happens).

JAKAGASM: (RMB 45)

We have an inkling that The Dude would approve of this caffeinated creation. Part coffee-tini, part White Russian, this one is made for the ladies but is strong enough for a man. Sip it slowly and brace yourself for the electric combo of JAKA (their cold brewed coffee) and sweet, creamy cocktail goodness. Drink one of these every time you hit the books or desire a certain degree of limbered focus, and you’re golden.

Ingredients:

20ml Kahlua
20ml Cointreau
20ml Baileys
40ml vodka
40 ml JAKA
Muddled with Nutella and topped with whipped cream and nutmeg

JAKA OFF: (RMB 25)

This little guy is reminiscent of those delicious little coffee shots you might find at Cafe De La Poste or Temple Bar, but with the addition of whipped cream and a sprinkle of ground coffee for good measure. Order up a tray to split between your coffee-holic buddies and proceed to jump from the walls in the thralls of this superb concoction. Perfect for quickly getting you where you need to be mentally for an insane night on the town.

Ingredients:

15ml Baileys
15ml Kahlua
15ml rum
15ml JAKA
Topped with whipped cream and coffee grounds

DO YOU EVEN PIESHAKE: (RMB 85)

Imagine one of TGI Friday’s alcoholic milkshakes kicked up a notch in the delicious department with an entire slice of pecan pie blended to a pulp with coffee ice cream. The addition of booze provides a jacked up deliciously icy and alcoholic treat worth your attention. It’s big enough to share with a friend or serve as dinner on its own, but that’s OK because this is one hell of a milkshake.

Ingredients:

1 slice of pecan pie
3 scoops of coffee ice cream
90ml vodka
20ml Amarula Cream Liqueur

DON’T RAGE ALONE: (RMB 180)

This is their flagship cocktail that apparently can only be ordered in groups of three or more. To us, that just sounds like a rule that’s meant to be challenged. Kind of a coffee-based version of a Long Island ice tea because it has over 450 ml of alcohol mixed with their signature cold brew coffee. Likely the most intense legal high currently available in Beijing, and should probably be avoided if you have a heart condition. 

Ingredients: 

100ml each of vodka, rum, whiskey, and amaretto 
50ml Cointreau 
50ml hazelnut liqueur 
500ml JAKA

More stories by this author here.

Email: danielkippwhittaker@thebeijinger.com