The Unfathomable Secrets of Temple Bar – What Could the Mystery on Aug 26 Possibly Be?
Temple Bar has announced a curious three-day musical feast casually titled “Marshall’s Birthday Bash.” The only text under a vintage-style, alien-themed poster upon Monday's release was, “This is gonna be crazy! Details coming soon.” The weekender has since been updated with a lineup for Thursday and Friday only.
Temple has never been one to hide events from Beijingers, but it appears that come Saturday they will have a surprise for us all. Check out this sneaky and seemingly not-of-such-great-importance corner area of the poster. It’s almost as if Temple was playing the magician, trying to divert our ever-curious gaze elsewhere.
However, our intrepid journalistic chops have led us to collect some clues, but be warned, the "Mystery's" distinctive answering style has called for a fair amount of brackets, italics, and explanations*. If you have been following the Beijing music scene closely enough, you might be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together, but for now, shhhh and see you at Temple Bar on Saturday.
*We also feel a need to preface the Q&A with a disclaimer that the truthfulness of the answers could not be verified, so we invite you to consume them with a grain (or bag) of salt.
TBJ: How was your last show? Did all the band members collectively cry and mourn when it was (for what it seemed at that time) the end?
Mystery: The last show was a bit hazy, to be honest. I just remember flashes of people dancing on tables, German bratwursts and ketamine backstage, and an extremely passionate groove. Of course it’s always sehr sad to say goodbye but, unfortunately, the band had a falling-out when discussing which direction to take our upcoming line of merch. My suggestion of lunchboxes got shot down and I left the country disillusioned by the harsh realities of the modern music industry.
What “next …” are you aspiring to be now? Or is there an artist Beijing media likes to compare you with?
We have been compared to everything from Beethoven to the Beatles and Djang San (a French musician in China). I would say we’re somewhere in between. Just another run-of-the-mill left-field band.
Whose shows in Beijing do you never miss out on?
Struggle Session always bring the party. And of course Tavey Lean & The Solid Gold Dream Machine. Mostly their old stuff though.
Without uncovering your secret identities, we know you all have distinctive characters. How does each of you stand out?
Just like Rammstein, only one of us is a trained pyro engineer. But the rest also bring their 'special something' into the mix. If you want to compare us to Pokémon, we would be a deck stacked with glitter cards. Or take the German football team – you have your forwards like Klose but any attack is impossible without the backing of a goalkeeper like Kahn or the cool oversight of a Beckenbauer.
Is there a new master plan in place to take Beijing by storm?
First of all, it is very important to have a strong online presence to reach the man on das street. That is why we aggressively push shows, favorite recipes, and merch on our very own web domain (which crashed several times last year due to heavy traffic). Then we plan to tour Siberian wood raves for a couple of months, make a stop at the Gathering of the Juggalos, return to the UK and then Beijing will be all buttered-up and ready.
What should the gig-goers know before coming to the gig on Saturday?
How much the fish will be.
The Birthday Bash at Temple Bar starts today, 10pm and continues until late Saturday night. More information here.
More by the author here.
Images courtesy of the organizers, Pexels
