Nali Patio to Transmute into Sanlitun ‘Dirty Bar Street Experience’
Hold on to your overpriced Tsingtaos, Beijing, because we’ve got a glimpse of what Nali Patio is set to become, and it might have you reeling with a bit of vertigo. The former nightlife and dining complex is set to become the “Dirty Bar Street Experience.”
Yes, you read that right – Nali Patio will be transformed head to toe into the infamous Sanlitun of old, albeit with an entry fee and all the trappings of an amusement park for the wantonly intoxicated.
The news has electrified the city, with reactions ranging from bewildered disbelief to gleeful anticipation. "I always knew the old Nali wouldn’t be coming back," confessed one former regular, clutching a bottle of artisanal gin like a lifeline. "But turning into Dirty Bar Street? That's like trading your caviar for instant noodles – bold move!"
Some are more skeptical, with a patron at Carmen’s Tapas across from Taikooli shaking their head: “They just finished turning this street into a shrine to contemporary mediocrity” motioning to the recently redeveloped street that was the last of Sanlitun Bar Street, "I guess it really was a mistake to do away with the old."
Picture this: Nali Patio's elegant ambiance replaced by the gritty charm of Sanlitun's notorious nightlife district. Neon signs flickering, music blaring, and a kaleidoscope of characters stumbling through the streets like extras in a B-movie about the end of civilization. From loud dives serving RMB 5 mystery shots to a courtyard and rooms so crowded you can hardly move, Nali Patio's transformation promises to be a wild ride through the city's nocturnal underbelly.
And just when you thought it couldn't get any crazier, think again. In true Dirty Bar Street fashion, expect to encounter a motley crew of characters pulled straight from memories of Beijing gone by. This trip down nostalgia lane comes with a hefty price tag, though, with entry rumored to clock in at RMB 1,500 per person – because what’s a bit of nostalgia without a price tag worse than a fake alcohol-induced hangover?
Speaking of questionable things, there’s even a special “VIP experience” package involved. An extra RMB 500 will get you perks like extra shots, and seats within striking distance of a staged fight between a group of drunken assholes – set to take place every night, we might add.
"I really miss the feel of Dirty Bar Street," says project creator Kai Wanxiao. "The feel of it all, the puke-covered streets, people in various stages of drunkeness..." Those memories came rushing back when Kai visited Anata no Warehouse, a former entertainment facility and arcade in Japan modeled after Hong Kong's infamous Kowloon Walled City. "I saw this multi-level arcade and thought to myself, 'this is the way to go!'"
But before you prepare to join the revelry, there's one tiny detail we must mention: while the idea of Nali Patio transforming into Sanlitun's Dirty Bar Street might sound like a fever dream fueled by too many tequila shots, it's all just a hilarious prank to kick off the month with a bang. So raise your glasses to the absurdity of it all, Beijing – and remember, sometimes the best parties are the ones that only exist in our wildest imaginations. Cheers to that!
The true fate of Nali Patio is still vague at this point in time, but we'll send along some real news once we found out the latest. In the meantime, happy April Fools'!
READ: Where Are Nali Patio's Bars and Restaurants Now?
Images: Uni You, Kyle Mullin, Wikipedia
