tbjblog Barfly

I hereby resolve: Beijing’s New Year’s resolution is to make the bar scene less prissy. God agrees, which is why He drowned the Block 8 New Year’s Eve party in a deluge of sprinkler water (the atheist rascals at Block 8 claim that there was no divine intervention: "Our technician used heat-producing pyrotechnics, triggering the sprinkler system over the DJ booth").

But setting aside the heavenly chaos at Chaoyang Park, we are off to a bad start. Nanluoguxiang’s Pass By Bar recently followed the example of Xiao Xin’s Cafe by establishing a non-smoking section, and mini-bar 12SQM is entirely smoke-free. Let’s just hope that those clean-lunged fascists keep their non-smoking habits trapped in the hutong. The last thing the rest of us need is to shed the layer of tar protecting our tender alveoli from the ravages of Beijing air.

So to hell with the non-smokers in Nanluoguxiang, and to hell with the fat cats behind Gulou chill-out bar Rockstar Gongzuo too. To hell with those money-grubbing swine that did away with the RMB 5 deal on big Yanjing beers, the only redeeming aspect of the place. So much for the glowing review we gave them in the January issue. And Oriental Taipan Bar, the under-impressive twenty-four hour spot we reviewed alongside Rockstar, is already re-thinking its mission. One-time that’s Beijing-er and current Prissmaster-General Leon Lee is managing the new direction, claiming that when he’s finished, it’ll be "one of the nicest places to hear jazz."

Banana has gussied itself up and became GT Banana, and veteran clubber Carissa Welton reports on the renovation: "There is plush carpeting everywhere except the plexi-glass trampoline dance floor, all the better to absorb the atomic-size, permanently damaging new sound system." Even Saddle, once a sturdy little bar, is getting a serious make-over and plans to open in early February in its new 460 square meter site in the new Nali Mall. The owners are pumped, suggesting that the brand is advancing with each incarnation. When asked if it would be a bar or restaurant, Chad answered, "It's hard to say. The customers will let us know."

In the only positive development so far this year, Babyface has been reborn as Richy. Thank God. If the name is any indication, at least they’ll stay crass and classless.