Apocalyptic Liquors - Getting to Know Local Spirits
They said it was “Chinese white wine.” My first gulp unveiled the cruelty of the mistranslation. My tongue tingled, my lips puckered and burnt, my tonsils convulsed, my neck kinked, my cheeks filled with spit, I felt a thickness where mouth becomes throat, and then I gargled some Coke to wash away the horror. As my sinuses began to drain, I felt her in my belly, a warm evil puddle.
Erguotou, a sorghum spirit made from a two-pot distilling process, is the most apocalyptic of liquors. A drummer I know calls her “China Power.” A martial arts acolyte told me, “Drunken boxing is powerful kung fu. No one feels pain after a bottle of this stuff.” I refer to her as “devil juice,” but the most accurate euphemism is China Fury.
China Fury makes you scream the things that common courtesy locks inside the subconscious creases of your brain. She makes you act on the impulses that legal disincentives and social inhibitions usually harness. She is the devil on your shoulder banishing the angel to the harsh light of sobriety. She is a cruel mistress.
Sumptuous networking dinners and business negotiation feasts are lubricated with her sickly-sweet high-class southern cousin Maotai. Devil juice doesn’t belong there. Erguotou is the pin on the blue-collar lapel. Her place is on a fold-out table beside a steaming plate of chuan’r.
Baijiu is an umbrella term for all Chinese “white wine,” but erguotou is a liquor (characterized by its distilling process), not a brand. The most well-known and accessible variety is produced by Hong Xing (Red Star), available at every cheap restaurant and xiaomaibu in the city. For only three kuai, she will accompany you on your travels in a flask-sized bottle which research suggests shatters upon meeting asphalt at high velocities. Beware the screw-cap that does not pop off at first twist – it heralds fake booze and an eyeball-pounding hangover. The first 300-ton batch of Red Star hit the market in September 1949, paving the way for the formal proclamation of the People’s Republic of China. The 50-plus years of mass production that followed were a testament to her mind-melting fury and proletarian price tag. Now the Red Star distillery churns out upwards of a hundred thousand tons a year.
Some have tried to tame erguotou with Sprite or green tea. Others have acquired the taste by mixing small doses into their beer. Laobaixing are disgusted by such sissy tactics. They will say knowingly, “Laowai can’t drink our China’s badass booze.” To earn the admiration of your local bike-repairman, the street-side chess masters, and the neighborhood convenience store boss, you must overpower erguotou with sheer strength of will. Drink respectfully and powerfully. Have no fear - she’ll sense it.