BJ Burger Wars: Lily’s American Diner Vs American Cafe

For hairy-footed, artisanal beer-swilling Gulou types like me (or “hutongsters” as this China Daily article calls us), Shuangjing is a far-flung, foreboding legend. Not unlike Mordor in Lord of The Rings - only more polluted. It’s the one place in Beijing I’ve had my bike stolen, if you need proof of the malice that pulses through this wild suburb. But that doesn’t mean it won’t have a good burger - beef in bread can flourish in some of the most ungodly places. So, as is our wont, who’s is the most badass? Quest on.

In the red corner: Lily’s Burger, Lily’s. RMB 40

The brief. One glance at this burger and its clear the controlling hand of the Emperor is many li away. For one thing, this sandwich is overflowing with finely diced coleslaw. And after trying 23,492 Beijing burgers, this is the first one to arrive already cut in half. Did the eye of Sauron know I was coming?

The bite. Apparently Lily’s was opened by a former staff member of Paul’s Steak & Eggs, and you can tell. Paul’s burger was one of my faves, and some attributes carry over. Doughy, slightly stodgy bread that tastes home made and a well assembled sandwich. Differences are the overbearing sweetness of all that coleslaw, combined with super salty bacon and beef. It’s got flavor, there’s no debating that, but at what cost, people?

The beef. Cooked very well done, but not a lot of char. Grain quite tight, and patty way salty. Beef flavor is there, but I’m not reaching for the napkin to dab away tears of cow.

The bits. Lots of chewy bacon that stretches and snaps and comes away in one piece in the mouth. Heaps of finely diced coleslaw that gets everywhere.

Harmonious society. I’m covered in coleslaw. If I was a woman in a bikini and this was Porky’s (I or II) this would be permissible. Any other situation it’s a no-no.

Fries? Yummy. Thick-skinned and golden.

Next…

In the blue corner: Swiss ‘n ‘Shrooms Burger, American Cafe (RMB 58)

The brief. (OK, this isn’t Shuangjing, but it was about the closest we could get.) More firsts! Out of 23,493 burgers eaten so far, this is the first with absolutely no salad. For this reason it almost looks like a proper NYC chophouse burger made by someone who digs the beauty of beefy simplicity. But ... I reckon they just forgot to buy lettuce. It's a bit small too, and the bun looks rather burned on the inside.

The bite. Chomp. Chomp. I'm waiting. Chomp. Still waiting. Where's the flavor? Either there's no salt or my taste buds are so shot I need a ton of the stuff to taste anything. I'm going with the first option.

The beef. They asked how I wanted it cooked, which is a plus. A decent grain but (eww) a bit gristle-y.

The bits. They forgot.

Harmonious society. All the gooey, bland cheese holds everything in place like ACME brand glue. But there's not a lot to hold in place.

Fries? The sprinkle of dried parsley gives these grease-bombs even less appeal, like an aging hutong "madam" with smudged lipstick.

--

Lily’s burger was definitely greater than the sum of its parts. If the coleslaw wasn’t so darned sweet it could have been a contender, Harry. A fair price, too. American Cafe exhibited all the color and panache of a rainy weekend in Pyongyang. Come on guys. You should get some Springsteen on the stereo, get in the mood a bit. I'm going back to Gulou.

Verdict: Lily's, but still the apprentice to Paul's Steak & Eggs in the burger department

Next time: A couple of places in the Wu(daokou)– suggestions welcome! In the mean time, feast out on our previous entries in the BJ Burger Wars series

Heat 1: The Box Versus Vineyard Cafe
Heat 2: Union Bar & Grille Versus Flamme
Heat 3: First Floor Versus Luga's
Heat 4: Let's Burger Versus Blue Frog
Heat 5: Village Cafe Versus Scarlett
Heat 6: Grandma's Kitchen Versus Paul's Steak & Eggs
Heat 7: Pete's Tex-Mex Versus Big Boss Fish & Chips
Heat 8: Home Plate Versus Hollywood
Heat 9: Kiosk Versus Rumi
Heat 10: Fatburger Versus Burger King

* All opinions expressed are those of an Englishman who once went to In-&-Out in LA (he didn’t even know about the secret menu, hah) and now has the gall to write this stuff.