Uniformity: Paul Afshar, Managing Director for IWannaBuy.com

Uniformity is a regular magazine column where we ask Beijing personalities about the various outfits that have defined them over the years.

Tell us a story about wearing a uniform somewhere where you felt out of place.
Hands down the Mozart uniform. I used to be a copresenter on a TV show called Local Laowai. One episode’s script was based around Mozart coming to modern-day China to see how he could learn music here. I had to wear this ridiculous uniform (a huge white permed wig, baroque-style gown and trousers) in a music store near Beixinqiao. I was a smoker at the time, so I stepped out of the front door to have a cigarette. Cars on the main road began to slow down to take pictures.

Which uniform were you most mocked for wearing?
The McDonald’s uniform, when kids from my school used to come into the store and see me in it. They would purposefully
drop their fries on the floor so I’d have to come out of hiding to tidy up after them.

Which uniform was the worst fit?
Definitely the McDonald’s uniform. My head is quite large, so the standard baseball cap never fit properly. I’d have to rest it on top of my head when I wore it, which made me look like Brian Harvey from the boy band East 17 circa early ’90s.

Which uniform was the most flattering?
The Royal Box uniform that I had to wear to serve tea to the Queen made me look like an innocent choirboy. I don’t
look good in uniforms – so this is the best it’s ever got!

Which uniform do you feel most sentimental about?
Although my university (Oxford) was full of pompous tradition, I still feel sentimental about the “Sub Fusc” (academic
gown, cap, and white bow tie or black tie) which we had to wear for practically every occasion. It made me feel like I was in a Harry Potter movie.

Did you ruin any of these uniforms?
When I was 17, I was – for a brief period – a radical leftie, so I attended a protest outside a McDonald’s store where I
pretended to burn my uniform. Actually, I just stamped on it a few times as my lighter wasn’t working properly.

Which uniform would be considered the least fashionable?
When I worked at an English school, they had a marketing event to teach children fire safety. But my fireman’s “uniform” was bought from Taobao and was orange – so it made me look like a Guantanamo inmate. No one can look hot in orange!