Beijing Sperm Bank Seeks Donors

While usually we cede any discussion of reproduction to our sister publication Beijing Kids, one particular news item caught our attention and appeared to be safe for our inclusion.

Facing a shortage of the stuff of life, the Beijing Human Sperm Bank has put out a call to strapping, virile men to come forth and be generous.

"Young men, compared with the waste of masturbation, why don't you try to donate your essence to us?" urged Chen Zhenwen, director of the sperm bank, according to the Global Times, in one of human history's greatest quotes.

"Compared with blood, marrow and organ donation, sperm donation is painless, costless, and does not carry the risk of surgery," Chen added, helpfully. The risk of surgery?

However, don't think you can just show up at the bank, take a number, and make a deposit. There's a swim test. "The sperm concentration of ordinary men is 15 million per milliliter, and our standard for sperm for frozen storage is 56 million to 60 million per milliliter. So we are sorry that most of the volunteers cannot pass the examination. Not because their sperm is unqualified, but our standard is very high," Chen said.

Men should also check themselves for proper height, intelligence, physical attractiveness, and, oh yes, resemblance to the recipient's partner whom you have not and will never meet. "Patients can be very picky in choosing sperm. They want the donor to be well educated, good looking, and not too short. And the most important point is that their child should look like its legal father. For example, if the father is 180 cm tall, they would not agree to accept the sperm of a man who is only 160 cm tall," Chen said.

The director also emphasized that even for willing donors who meet all of the above requirements, it's not much of a money shot. "I have to dispel the rumor on the Internet saying the subsidy for sperm donation can be accumulated to buy a home in Beijing," Chen said. Well, he lost us there.

Image: worldtribune.com