English Languge Pop Art Video Attempts to Make 13th Five-Year Plan Less Boring

David Bowie. Vintage WV Campmobiles. Ukeleles. Hippies. Airhead American slang. All of these feature prominently in a new three-minute video that attempts to explain China's 13th Five-Year Plan in terms even stoned college students will appreciate.

The central government planning session, which started Monday in Beijing, is usually a time for endless articles featuring heavy-handed bureaucratic pontification that generally put foreign readers right to sleep.

In comes this video, in the form of a simple ditty featuring native speakers singing and talking in informal English about the "shisanwu" (Mandarin for "135," an abbreviation for the 13th Five-Year Plan). It's quick, its dumbed down, and it's catchy enough to get stuck in your head. 

All cynicism aside, the video is a Great Leap Forward in terms of Chinese propaganda – rather than trying to force-feed foreigners dry data presented by bureaucrats trained in engineering, the video attempts to speak in terms its audience is ready to receive. Cheesy, yes; heavy-handed and over serious, no.

The Global Times indicates the producers of the video clip, Fuxing Lushang Gongzuo Shi (Road to Revival Studio), may or may not have connections to the government, but we're guessing "yes" as very few people do this sort of thing just for fun.

What's most remarkable is that the imagery and dialogue are not restricted to the cliches that are typical of attempts to get through to foreigners.

For Americans, the video brings back memories of the Schoolhouse Rock series of animated shorts that were typically stuck inbetween otherwise vapid cartoons that taught kids simplified versions of things like how a bill passes through the American legislature.

Here's the video on Youku:

If you don't feel like sitting through the whole video, here are the lyrics:

Female voice: Hey have you guys heard what’s going on in China?
Male voice: President Xi Jinping’s new style?
Female voice: Yes! And there’s more!
The Shi san wu!
The What?
China’s 13th Five Year Plan!
Yeah, the shi san wu

Every five years in China, man
They make a new development plan
Time has come for number 13
Shi san wu, that’s what it means

It’s a huge deal
Like how huge?
Huge!
Like China huge?
Yeah, China huge.
Wow, that’s really big!

If you wanna know what China’s gonna do,
Best pay attention to the shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san what?
The shi san wu.

But who makes all the plans?

There’s government ministers and think tank minds
And party leadership contributing finds
There’s doctors, bankers and farmers too
And even engineers who deal with poo

Eww, did I hear that right?
Yeah, its true.

Chorus!

If you wanna know what China’s gonna do,
Best pay attention to the shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san what?
The shi san wu.

But how do they make all the plans?

First there’s research, views collected
Then discussion and views projected
Reports get written and passed around

Then there’s actually more research
And more discussion
And more research
And more discussion
Like, at every level!
Over and over
Like, through hundreds of rounds!
It's …

OK we got it! Hundreds of rounds. Oh my god!

Crazy right?

OK! 1-2-3!

If you wanna know what China’s gonna do
Best pay attention to the shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san what?
The shi san wu.

But it’s not over yet!

When the plan comes out, the work’s not done
In fact it’s really just begun
Because every province, county, city, too
Have got to figure out what they’re gonna do

Whoa, that’s a lot to do!
I know.
Hey, what’s it called again?
The shi san wu

If you wanna know what China’s gonna do,
Best pay attention to the shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san what?
The shi san wu

Then the plans keep getting even better

As the plan goes down from high to low
The government’s experience continues to grow
They have to work hard and deliberate
Because a billion lives are all at stake

Like every Zhao, Qian, Sun, Li, Zhou, Wu, Zheng, Wang, Feng, Chen, Chu, Wei, Jiang, Shen, and …

Chorus!

If you wanna know what China’s gonna do,
Best pay attention to the shi san wu
The shi san wu
The shi san wu
Everybody’s talking about the shi san wu

So that’s it?
That’s it!
Yeah, now it's time to get ready for the 14th Five-Year Plan!
What?
Yeah, the shi si wu
The shi si what?

Photo: Youku