Rachel Weiss of Date Night China: "We've Barely Scratched the Surface"

One-year anniversaries are a very special occasion in the world of dating, and the one-year anniversary of Date Night China podcast is no different. To celebrate this milestone and the beginning of the show’s second season, DNC is holding a Fall in Love Formal on the rooftop of New World Hotel, Sunday, Sep 20 (making it a fine way to round out Burger Fest weekend). Formal dress is the name of the game, but this won’t be your high school prom – there will be free-flow wine and beer, and there definitely won’t be your friend’s parents looking on as you awkwardly grind on your crush. If you're interested, don’t delay, because tomorrow (Sep 16) is the last day to grab tickets.

The podcast took a bit of a summer hiatus, but Date Night China being as much a community as it is a show, still had plenty of summer minglings. The Beijinger recently talked with co-host Rachel Weiss about the summer goings-on and what to expect for season two.

So, you started this podcast one year ago this month. Is it true it all started at Café de la Post?
Yeah! I met Nathan (one of the co-hosts) there, and it was just a fun conversation sharing about dating in China – you know, the usual stuff you talk about when you meet people or when you’re sharing with friends. At that time, I already knew Eleanor [Boniface], the other co-host, because we worked together, and it was kind of a funny joke between the three of us that we should make a podcast because we all have these interesting stories and crazy experiences and challenges of dating in a foreign country. But the next morning we were like, yo, we should actually do this! So that’s how it started, and it’s been a great way to share and hear more stories.

Now that you’ve been doing the show for a year, what’s going to change for the next year?
I think we’ve realized that even through all the people we’ve met, that we’ve barely scratched the surface of it – because everybody has their own unique background, whether it’s their country, the language they speak, and everything else, and all of that comes here and mixes together in a really unique way. So, I feel that we’ve learned a lot about people and about what they’re looking for, but also how much these stories differ from person to person, and we realized that we need to keep doing this because there’s so many more stories to tell. That’s why with season two of the podcast, we want to bring on another guest host from a different background than our own. This season's guest host will be Boitha, who does the 011 Day Parties and is also a co-founder of Thrive Beijing.

We also had had some really amazing guests in the first season, but we want even more varied guests and to get into some topics that we didn’t get to talk about in season one. There were also a lot of episodes where it was just Elenor, Nathan and I talking, and that was a lot of fun too because we wanted to go for the vibe of, hey, you’re just sitting down, having a pint with your friends, sharing about your latest dates, while still being a space where we can tackle some deeper things. But I think we’ve realized that there is a lot more going on out there than the stories of single people, for example, with people who are divorced or married, or plenty of other topics we haven’t gotten to yet.

Even still, season one had a lot of different stories, each one unique – but have you noticed any throughlines?
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think the main thing that people are looking for is, of course, connection – whether it’s in the form of a short-term fun fling or looking for something more long-term. In Beijing, people are also struggling with the people they meet coming and going. Some people just move here for a year, and some people come and want to make a life here, so it’s been really interesting to see how that’s played out at our events.

At our meeting at XL, for example, we had people wear different colored wristbands to indicate what they were looking for, and it was surprising to see how often people found out that, well, maybe they’re actually looking for something they didn’t realize! I think that can pretty much sum up dating in China – maybe you have these expectations or this mindset of, “I’m only here for a year, I want to keep this fun,” and then suddenly it's, “Oh, I found a long term relationship here.” Sometimes it’s the complete opposite, where people think they’re looking for someone to settle in with, then they realize that actually dating can be really fun here, so maybe they take some time to explore themselves.

Has the single-status of you or your hosts changed since starting the podcast? Will that affect anything going forward?
[Laughing] Yeah, actually... So my co-host Nathan and I started the podcast a year ago, and eight months in we started dating each other! So it’s kind of a joke now, like, “If all else fails and you can’t find anyone, just start a dating podcast with a friend and maybe you’ll start dating!” It was totally unplanned though – at the time, we were both going on dates and sharing those stories with each other.

So, of course it’s changed things a bit – it’s one reason why we took a break on the podcast this summer, right after we started dating. There’s still some things that we can talk about, and we can still bring on diverse voices as guests, but it’s also another reason that we wanted to welcome guest hosts into our rotation – someone who still brings that different experience. Then again, us dating opens the door to talking about topics we didn’t cover last season just by sharing our personal experiences. But it is changing the dynamic a little bit.

And Eleanor will still be co-hosting as well?
Yes, so for most of season one she’s been back in the UK, but she's still hosting and still with us. It actually works quite well because she brings in the flavor of all the expats who are stuck back home right now but are still interested in China and the stories here. So she’s helping to bring in the experience of an expat starting to date back home again.

It seems like DNC has been as much a community as a podcast. Can you talk about some of the ways you fostered that community, and how would you describe the DNC community?
After we finished season one, we wanted to keep the community engaged by crossing platforms. We had launched our WeChat official account this spring, and we decided to get more articles written by guest writers who are involved in the Beijing community, as well as interviews with people running Beijing-based organizations that can be useful to the dating community. We’ve gotten a lot of engagement from the written stories, too. Sometimes people will agree and say that they can relate, and other times they’ll say, “Woah, that’s not my experience at all!” So it’s been cool to start a dialogue through those articles.

We also wanted to create a space offline for people to actually meet, which is where those events like the ones we held at XL and The Great Outdoors started – and a lot of the bars here have been really great in helping us to make that happen. Eventually, we’d love to expand out of Beijing. This summer, we also took some people to Qingdao and did a mixer there at a bar owned by Mama Jane (who also owns XL Bar in Beijing), so that was a great way to reach out down there and to learn about expat life in a different part of China.

Has anyone found true love through the community yet?
[Laughing] We did hear about some people who exchanged WeChats at our wristband party and later told us they were going on a date. So it’s been fun to learn that people really are meeting new people through these events and that meaningful things can come of them.

I haven’t heard of anyone falling in love from our events yet, but that would be really exciting if it did happen!

Well, it’s early yet.
Right! Got to give it a little time.

Any more big events planned after this anniversary blow out?
We’re planning some more events that are specifically geared toward dating. We’ve done a lot of mixers, but we’re hoping to do more things to target singles. And of course, there will be plenty of opportunities for people to just meet new people.

For more information about Date Night China and their upcoming formal, follow their official WeChat Account, ID: datenightchina. Tickets for the formal are available until Sep 16.

READ: Get Connected With the Female Expats in Beijing Group

Images courtesy of Date Night China