Date Nigth China: 8 Golden Rules for a Summer Fling

This article comes from Date Night China (WeChat ID: datenightchina), a media platform and events organization that shares stories about dating and relationships in China. To learn more about upcoming events and connect with others in the DNC community, add co-host Rachel to join their WeChat group: rachelweiss22

Also: If you were planning on attending Date Night China's Rooftop Formal tonight please note that it has been postponed until Sep 4

Summer is in full swing now! It’s summer lovin time and sometimes it happens faaaast. 

A summer fling can be hot and exciting if you’re looking for casual short-term fun. If a summer of sex and no strings is exactly what you’re looking for in China right now, just keep these “rules” in mind to have a fling that is as smart and safe (emotionally and physically) as it is hot and sweaty. 

1. Be Honest About What You Want

Don’t play games with other people, or yourself. Ask yourself what you’re looking for and what you can handle. Just out of a break up and not ready for something serious again? Totally fine! Just take the time to reflect on what you want. You don’t want to mislead someone, as you yourself wouldn’t want to be misled.

2. Establish Boundaries and Expectations

Communication is key! Make sure you’re both on the same page about what your relationship is, how frequently you meet, and what kind of *ahem* activities are okay. Do you go on dates together or keep it strictly Netflix and chill? Are booty calls allowed? Do you meet each other’s friends? 

Just keep in mind, in general, with a fling you don’t have obligations to each other and you are definitely not in boyfriend/girlfriend status and treatment.

3. Think Twice Before Dipping into Your Friend/Work Circle

This isn’t a blatant RED X, but if you’re out looking for a summer fling it’s usually best to avoid going for someone in your friend group or a work mate. Even if they are super hot. It could get really awkward if the fling ends and you still see each other all the time. (If you both can openly talk about that and make it work though, more power to you).

4. Romance Close to Home: To Fling Or Not To Fling?

Summer flings often happen when you’re on vacation and one or both of you have a leaving date in advance. But with current COVID measures, it’s likely you both live in the same city. What if there’s no defined ending point and you both keep gallivanting and swiping around the same city? 

It’s likely you will bump into your ex-fling again. It doesn’t have to be weird - we’ve all been in this situation before. But if you left things on weird or bitter terms with your fling, it’s possible you’ll face awkward future encounters running into that person. 

We don’t say this to sway you from pursuing a fling in your city (that’s the main option most of us face now with COVID). It’s just something to be mindful about when you are about to engage in a new summer fling. 

5. (Sexual) Safety First! 

Talking about sexual history with a new partner doesn’t always feel super sexy, but it’s super important, especially if you and your fling might have multiple partners. Practice safe sex and be open with your fling if you’ve done something risky. Just because we’re in China it’s no excuse not to go to the doc to get screened. 

If you’re in Beijing, here’s how and where you can get tested: Sexual Health: STDs, STIs, & Getting Tested in Beijing

Start your summer fling with a fresh STI test and say something like: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours? " 

Or however you like. You do you you.

6. Keep in Touch with Your Feelings

It is quite possible during a fling that one (or both) parties catch more feelings than they originally planned for. It’s important to check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. 

Are you okay with the fling boundaries you established before, or do you want more now? It’s possible they might even be feeling the same way! However, if you sense they don't reciprocate those feelings, maybe it’s better to end the fling sooner rather than later so you don’t get hurt.

7. Have Fun and Try New Things

Sometimes a fling is a great chance to experiment with new toys, learn different tricks, or get out of your usual sexual routine. Swap spit and swap moves. 

Like we mentioned before, just be safe about it. 

8. Ending It: Don’t Be A Dick

When the summer fun is over no one really wants to have a giant farewell. You want to remember the good times without adding more weight to what it was: a fun summer fling. 

But you also shouldn’t completely disappear one day, stop replying to texts, or skip a scheduled meet up before you’ve communicated that it’s over. Yeah it wasn't a serious relationship, but they are still a human being with feelings. Just a good rule of thumb: don't be a dick and ghost.

At the end of it all, enjoy it for what it is! A sexy romp with a stranger can be just what the soul needs during summer.  The golden rule: treat someone how you want to be treated. 

READ: Date Night China: The 13 Types of Daters in China

Images: Date Night China