Throwback Thursday: On a Mission to Find the Ugliest Sweater

Throwback Thursday takes a look back into Beijing's past, using our nine-year-strong blog archives as the source for a glance at the weird and wonderful of yesteryear.

Ugly Christmas sweaters serve a multitude of purposes. First, it saves the hassle of caring what you look like; shelve that fancy new garment to show off in front of your coworkers; instead, the uglier the better works here. Second, it saves you from an undesired office party romance. Third (it could probably go on and on), they allow you to overdrink safe in the knowledge that a spoonful of mashed potatoes or a 3am call to god on the big white telephone won't ruin your inexpensive piece of clothing.

To get you in the mood for work parties and to save you running around H&M trying to find a last minute sweater, let's take a quick look back at 2011, when we genuinely tried to help everyone find the Christmas sweater that would best suit them.

While I know that a Christmas sweater can be bought in Uniqlo for RMB 300, the sheer point of even considering an ugly Christmas sweater is that some go for lower than a pair of socks (hence the ugly part). Just for the reference, this is what they were working with back in 2011:

Slightly boring, but hey, it's likely to never go out of fashion because it was never really in! 

For a real hunt, you would be best off digging through your mom's or grandma's closet. Knowing that few foreigners are able to convince their relatives to come visit during winter, the chances that they've also convinced them to carry their massive space-eating sweater collection from the '80s is also pretty slim.

That leaves a few other remaining options, such as the overpriced thrift finds on and around Gulou (Mega Vintage, Tiger Vintage, anything fake vintage as it's much cheaper than the real deal in Beijing), likely to stock plenty of sweaters for any taste; humble or extravagant. 

If you can afford to wait for your sweater, head to Amazon or Taobao (the latter, surprisingly has more of a humble collection of Christmas-themed outfits).

If you are still hoping for a Christmas fling and can't bear to hide what you're working with under a thick blanket of wool or fleece, opt for one of these beauties (alright, Susan, it's your time to shine). While not extremely practical (we assume that outer layer is pleather-thick?), keep in mind that you'll be the talk of the party and you'll have enough (mostly unwanted) hot bodies throwing themselves at you to stay warm even on the coldest of Beijing winter days.

And while we're here, let's not leave out the dogs. A walk around the hutong will make it apparent that most of our four-legged friends are already cozily dressed up and cruising the streets with confidence. But why now sprinkle that warmth with a little festive spirit? If you intend to bring your buddy to the Ugly Sweater Christmas party, make sure he's not the odd one out by buying him this dog-sized treat. Highly unnecessary but when in the name of fun ...

Ugly Sweater parties have grown to be an inevitable part of the winter holiday so avoid the headache of searching altogether by dedicating 15 minutes to Taobao browsing right now. If all else fails, you can always wrap a battery-powered string of Christmas lights around your waist and call it a Christmas day!

Merry Holidays to all and good luck in your hunt for the perfect sweater!

Images: Mirror, Amazon, Top Dog Tips, Heavy Editorial