Hutong'r 胡同儿

If this place were a cop, it would be Elliot Ness. Meaning it’s “by the book” – the book being The Nanluogu Xiang Manual to Opening a Cafe. It reads something like this. Step 1: Beautify a traditional courtyard with Christmas lights, leafy things and vintage radios. Step 2: Craft an unwieldy “status” menu packed with pricey coffee, brand name liquors and pizza. Step 3: Hire at least 27 staff. Step 4 … you get the picture. Hutong’r has sensibly remained true to that surefire formula, so you can expect festive lighting, heavily marked-up drinks, acceptably cheesy pizza (RMB 42-78), passable “Italian noodles” (RMB 30) and overzealous service. Thereupon, besides the sheer scale of the joint, there’s little to distinguish Hutong’r from its many rivals. Case closed.