Top of the Pops: Navigate Your Local Store's Freezer

We decided to localize our ice cream tastes and try out the contents of those half-broken fridges at our local store. You know which ones we mean, the ones that only got turned on a few weeks ago! At RMB 2-3 a pop, these popsicles should provide a little bit of an escape during the hot summer months: if they pass our rigorous testing that is.
 

Ben Nana – Strawberry Jelly Ice Cream (RMB 3)
“This ice cream requires peeling, how odd, and it has cream on the inside. I think this is ice cream for porn stars.”
“What is this even meant to be?”
“Why am I peeling a strawberry? I guess it makes sense for the banana version that there is an outer shell that you peel, but not for the strawberry flavor.”
 

Bing+ – Mango Popsiscle (RMB 2)
“This ice cream is mango flavored? I bet this ice cream has never ever seen a mango.”
“I actually quite like it – like an intense sugar kick in the middle of a hot day.”
“Agreed, this one is fruity, if a bit sweet, but I would consider having it again.”
 

Ku Ai Chun Cui – Chocolate Covered Taro Ice Cream (RMB 2)
“Vegetables and sweets do not go together!”
“This is like an unpleasant surprise. You think you’re about to have a lovely ice cream and then it’s made out of yam!”
“I want to fling it out of the window but I am scared it might damage someone for life with its smell or taste.”
 

Dongbei Daban – Strawberry Popsicle (RMB 3)
“This ice cream must be for old people, to remind them that their taste buds work.”
“I would definitely buy this again, especially for three kuai.”
“Are these real strawberries?! Actually, now that I think about it, I’d rather not know what they are.”
 

Xiao Xuesheng – Chocolate and Vanilla Ice Cream (RMB 2)
“Judging by how it came out of the packet, I would be surprised if it has melted and refrozen fewer than five times.”
“I wonder if they actually dipped this in soap before packaging it. Or maybe the plastic taste has rubbed off on it.”
“Hmmm … I love it when my frozen milk tastes off.”
 

Lu Dousha – Green Bean Paste Ice Cream (RMB 2)
“This looks like a pond, that’s a good start.”
“You know those cold soups? Yeah, it tastes a little bit earthy, like that.”
“If you left rice pudding out in the beaming sun for at least a month and stuck a twig in it, you’d be able to recreate this horrific ice cream.”

VERDICT
There were only two ice creams that we would consider trying again: the Bing+ mango popsicle and the Dongbei Daban strawberry popsicle. Perhaps this just goes to show that it’s very hard to mess up fruit-flavored confections, but that vegetables, cheap milk, and high temperatures just do not make for great frozen treats.

More stories by this author here.

Email: margauxschreurs@truerun.com
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Photos: Joey