Do Not Surprise Your Wife or Girlfriend with a Date to the Max Brenner Chocolate Bar

Editor's Note: We visited Max Brenner Chocolate Bar when it was so new that the sawdust hadn't been entirely swept, and found it a possible source of future addiction. However, our new colleague Vanessa Jencks over at sister publication beijingkids had a somewhat different experience, which we share below.

We heard there is a new and fabulous Max Brenner Chocolate Bar at The Place (between Moka Bros and Marks & Spencer), but we want to warn you, men, do not take your spouse here without pre-approval. Here is what would most likely happen if you tried to fly this blind.

RELATED: Max Brenner Chocolate Bar is an Opium Den for Chocolate Lovers

Problems Before the Launch
Although chocolate is cute for the first, safe gift, nothing says “I didn’t know what else to get you” better than chocolate. Way to go there, slick. You just made a whole date fall under this category.

Your child suddenly overhears where you two are headed and begs to come along. He wants to see Willy Wonka and drink from the chocolate river. Date night becomes another family affair. Strike two.

On the commute to this choco-palace, your wife suddenly spills a secret. Unbeknownst to you, she has become a vegan AND sworn off all processed sugar. Haven’t you seen her Pinterest board full of ambitious new recipes?

Chocolate Clouds on the Horizon
After you arrive to behold the cool décor and never-ending stockpile of velvety, chocolate gold, your favorite tag-along makes new requests for a Kids Peanut Butter Banana Panini (RMB 65) from the one liner Kids Menu, and the S’mores Sundae (RMB 90) from the Max I-Scream Section. 

He holds Willy Wonka hostage until his demands are paid out. Don’t skimp on the sprinkles or else. Your sugar-crazed child now tap-dances all over the shiny, tiled floor as you wonder how such a good date went so wrong. Refer back to the first mistake.

Restrained and polite at first, your wife is seduced by the wafts of cocoa and suddenly is overcome by a monstrous urge to gorge. She lifts a whopping spoonful of the Classic European Fondue (RMB 120) to her lips, and then the sugar-crazed child bumps it all over her new white dress. Disaster.

Joy! Wait until you see the dry cleaning bill!

The Teary-Eyed After Party
Suddenly your wife confesses she was on a new diet for spring. She was trying out the fasting research set out by a recent TED talk. How could you tempt her like this? She covers her face with her hands for a few minutes, then she blubbers apologies for being such a jerk. She’s the one with a lack of self-control. She can’t help but stuff her face with delicious chocolate!

Emotional breakdown complete. Date ruined. Lesson learned. Chocolate surprises are best in small doses. Enjoy your last bite of chocolate before you trek home!

This article originally appeared on our sister site beijingkids.

Photos: Pixabay, Alpha (Flickr)

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