China's First Simpsons Merchandise Store Now Open in Beijing's Taikoo Li

More than 20 years into their television run, merchandise from The Simpsons is still in demand. I remember as a kid I had a pair of Bart Simpson shoelace locks. Although they were a sort of pointless accessory, it made me the star of the playground. That was until the plastic was scraped to bits from excessive horseplay and I learned to tie my own shoelaces. Or do you remember those knockoff Bart shirts where he’s a Rastafarian? Those were collector's items.

Well, unfortunately, we won’t be able to find replacement shoelace locks or questionable racial adaptations of Bart at this new Simpsons store, which is now open in the bottom floor of Taikoo li South (SLG-43), but there are plenty of other glitzy threads featuring the beloved characters of Springfield.

I can’t say that I was ever a huge Simpsons fan, but along with many others across the globe, I respect how it has always been smart, challenging, and fun to watch. However, we can’t say the same things about this store. Although a lot of the merch looks well-made and stylish (if The Simpsons is your style), much of the gear here is way too overpriced and as pointless as my shoelace locks, which just doesn’t represent the subversive spirit of the show.

They have a black button-up short sleeve shirt, with Homer rendered as the Edvard Munch "Scream" painting (RMB 899). We couldn’t imagine a suitable situation where you might want to wear such a shirt, unless maybe if you’re having a job interview at the Kincaid Gallery or a shopping mall food court. Or how about a Duff Beer-themed muumuu, which we guess might not be bad for pregnant moms looking for something comfortable to wear around the house. Some other notable items include sweatpants (RMB 689), a pink glittery Simpsons thermos, Simpsons miniskirts, and of course, the ubiquitous iPhone case. All of these are probably twice the price what you would find anywhere on the Internet.

Alternatively, if you don’t have the cash to throw down on these officially licensed products, you could draw a pretty gnarly Bart Simpson on a T-shirt for absolutely free.

Some of you may recall the New Kids on the Block store that blew up in almost every shopping mall across the US in the early 90s. While also a supreme travesty in the world of obscene merchandising, at least a T-shirt didn't cost you RMB 489.

All in all, the prices here are insane, but so is the strange range of merchandise that's available. But we guess if you’ve already seen Bart Simpson in blackface or him taking a whizz on a map of Iraq everything here just seems a little tame. But the store is still pleasing to the eye and we’re sure some people won’t be able to resist their over-the-top and whacky gear.

More stories by this author here.

Email: danielkippwhittaker@thebeijinger.com

Photos: Kipp Whittaker