Covid Party Animals: An Imagined Itinerary of a Debauched Odessy Through Gongti

Bars and clubs are shut, and daily testing is back in Chaoyang, and it’s all thanks to one Covid positive party animal who hit up 21 bars in five days – sort of, or it could’ve been three people. Either way, the itinerary for these nights out is wild to say the least. And it centers around a place called Heaven's Supermarket (天堂超市 Tiāntáng Chāoshì).  But what is this exactly?

For the uninitiated, Heaven's Supermarket is like if a supermarket just sold beer and liquor and married a club. It goes beyond this, though, as it's the cheapest place along a strip of several nightclubs and bars in Gongti. It's where people are heading for cheap drinks before hitting the other clubs, and its a stopping point for hundreds of people who are going between other night spots in the area.

Here’s an itinerary from roughly three days of carousing about in Gongti*

*It might be three people, but we’re just working under the assumption it was one mad party animal who, like some drunken Ulysses, made his way across Gongti for three nights like on some debauched alcohol-fueled odyssey.

Night One – Let’s Get the Party Started

Things kick off, as any night out in the Sanlitun area should, at the Haidilao Hot Pot in 3.3 Mall. After filling up on some of that Chongqing heat – and, hopefully, endless shots of baijiu – our intrepid antihero made his way to Heaven’s Supermarket where we like to think he filled up on some quality imported and domestic beers for yet more pre-gaming before heading to his first club of the evening, Echo.

It seems our man likely got thirsty while at Echo, because following this he returned to Heaven’s Supermarket for yet more beer. This brief pit stop was an interval in clubbing, with subsequent destinations being Coco Plus and One Third, where the night ends.

Night Two – Seeing Double

The second night of partying began with some quintessential Beijing snacking in the form of 驴肉火烧 lǘròu huǒshāo – aka donkey sandwiches. This traditional snack, which features a long thin piece of bread sliced down the center and stuffed with a meat so revered by locals that it’s considered the next best thing to dragon meat (which apparently is top tier meat in Chinese lore).

Belly filled with this meat of the gods, it was a trek to Nali Patio. Although unclear what places in the complex were visited, this spot, located right behind Sanlitun Taikooli, is home to a number of prime eateries and drinking spots, including El Barrio, Bottega, Daruma, M Natural, Martini and a few others.

Nali Patio was followed by a stop for 烧烤 shaokao, shrimp, then a convenience store and a chicken rice joint before heading back to Heaven’s Supermarket to fill up on the nectar of the gods – beer. This madlad could’ve stopped here, but the night was just getting started.

From Heaven’s it was club hopping at One Third, PH, then a stop at a KTV to belt out some ballads before Coco, back to Heaven's, a convenience store, Coco again – we like to think he forgot his wallet or something, because things seem to be a bit repetitive from here – shaokao yet again, One Third, and Heaven’s.

Night Three – Revenge of the Hangover

On our hero's third night, not much happened, but he did kick things off at a slightly different location -- a fried chicken restaurant, perhaps that hangover was hitting hard, because this was followed by some classic malatang. From here, it was back to Coco, then Elements Club and One Third, before finally winding up back again at the area's hub, the heavenly beer hall cranked up to eleven -- Heaven's Supermarket.

Joking aside, the trajectory of this itinerary and the slow spread of the cases cropping up today goes to show how easy a spike in cases can happen. And, while it sucks to see stuff closing just days after reopening (fingers crossed restaurants don't shut anytime soon), we're with this for just a little longer.

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Images: Dianping, tasteatlas.com