Celebrate the Gift of Impeachment With These Taobao Trump Stocking Stuffers

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Impeachment!

As you may have heard, America’s little-boy-in-chief received a bit of coal in his stocking this Wednesday as the House of Representatives voted to impeach. In an effort to get called out as FAKE NEWS by Mr. Trump (#goals), the Beijinger wants to help the haters celebrate this early holiday gift in the true spirit of Christmas: consumerism.

Whether you're buying for yourself, or plan to put one of these under the tree of a dirty Democrat or Democrat sympathizer, the busy elves over at Taobao have got you covered.

Tops and socks

Plastering the orange man on your chest is a great way to show off your impeachment spirit, but if you want to be a bit more subtle about it, we’ve found the perfect pair of socks for you as well.

Buy them here:

• Make Christmas Great Again for the holiday hero. RMB 59.
• Russian Trump for the Muellerite. RMB 89.90.
• Periodic Table Trump for the potty-mouthed scientist. RMB 89.90.
• Drinking Buddies for the internationally-minded alcoholic. RMB 55.
• Shut Up for the anime nerd. RMB 78.
• Grand Theft Brexit for the Brits who want a piece of the action. RMB 49.90.
• IMPEACH for the fruit lover. RMB 58.
• Socks for the guy who wears shorts in winter. RMB 15.80.
• Full Body Trump Suit just because. RMB 120.

Toiletries

You never thought you'd want Trump anywhere near your genitals, did you? Get up close and personal with the President, the consensual way, then see if he really is effective at "draining the swamp" and "expelling foreign elements."

Buy them here:

• The soft stuff for you-know-where. RMB 3.
  Toilet cleaner to finally put that hair to good use. RMB 19.

For the kids

What’s impeachment season without the magic of childhood? Watch their eyes light up as they rip the bows off these Trump toys.

Buy them here:

• Shut him up with this Shooter. RMB 98.
• Test his limits with Stretchy Trump. RMB 299.

For the pets

Trump is the first American President not to own a dog in nearly 130 years, but that doesn't mean that all animals hate him... 

Buy them here:

• Keep the cat out of your hair and on his. RMB 15.80.
• Let the dog show him what for. RMB 39.

A nice calming cup of impeachment tea

Finally, if you’ve gotten yourself all worked up about impeachment, sit back and relax with this Tèlǎngpǔ (Trump) pu'er tea. RMB 19.90. Just like pu'er tea, Trump seems to get stronger the longer you leave him in hot water, so proceed with caution. 

READ: Jingle All the Way to These Beijing Christmas Dining Events

Images: Zuma Press, Taobao